We’ve all been in a situation where we have had a problem dealing with a peer or colleague. Over time, frustration grows and others are affected by the conflict.
How can you deal with this situation?
Understand that you are as responsible for the problem as your colleague is. In any type of interaction, you are both influenced by and have an influence on the other party.
Forget about blame - Focus on your OWN actions or reactions.
The situation is what it is. Perhaps you tried to ignore behavior that annoyed you or responded in a manner that exacerbated the situation. Instead of focusing on who is to blame, you need to focus on changing your OWN behavior, since you have no control over the other person’s behavior patterns.
Here are some tips for resolving the conflict:
- Meet privately. Ask your colleague to speak with you in private at a time when you are both calm. If you address the issue in a manner that doesn’t apply blame, you may be able to ask them what can be done to resolve the conflict between you. Use good listening techniques to let your colleague know that you respect what he or she is saying and really want to hear their suggestions. If there is a specific behavior that is bothering you, be honest and try to provide constructive suggestions of your own.
- Watch your OWN body language. Avoid showing frustration by facial gestures or other negative reactions. You are responsible for your own reactions. Keep your reactions appropriate, and respond with dignity as you set limits on specific behaviors.
- Avoid letting the conflict spread to your other co-workers and colleagues. Gossip and complaints do nothing to resolve the issue and focus entirely on the negative aspects of the conflict rather than seeking to resolve it.
- Nip conflicts in the bud: Avoid conflict by addressing issues in a polite, firm manner as soon as they occur. If the situation has reached the point of conflict, approach a manager for help. Be objective as you describe the situation. Suggestions or even mediation may be offered by management to solve the problem.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
These are really great tips, - and easy to implement if you can humble yourself enough to do it. I guess one of the biggest obstacles to healthy relationships is always our human pride!
I also think that dealing with problems right away is the wisest thing to do. They only get worse with time and can evolve into major conflicts.
realy how very interting it is and i am very happy plase continue
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